Prompt Post for Round 4: Night of the Lawn Chairs

[boundbooks]

It's time for the fourth round of Government Controlled Cats!

The Prompts:

Undulate: Freckles have been banned and the government controls non-compostable dinnerware.

Sneak: Bookbinding has been banned and the government controls baked goods.

Drag: Teenagers have been banned and the government controls fireworks.

Fear: The name Steve has been banned and the government controls magic.

Tweak: Oranges have been banned and the government controls lawn chairs.

Please note, the format has changed from the previous round. All rounds will have different formats.

The Format: A newspaper article
The Format's Length: 1-500 words of original fiction. Please note that entries are not required to use the words from their prompt's title and summary.

A Quick Reminder of How to Enter and Entry Rules: Five comments, containing one prompt each, will be added to this prompt post. In order to submit an entry, REPLY with a comment to your selected prompt comment. Each entry must be in the specified format and be submitted as a REPLY comment to the prompt comment. Do not comment with your entry as a reply to other entries; only comment with your entry as a reply to the original prompt comment.

Participants can submit up to three entries per round to the prompt(s) of their choice. If participants are not signed into Dreamwidth, Livejournal or openID, please include a preferred name/handle at the top of the entry comment, otherwise the entry will be considered to be written by 'anonymous.'

Submissions are due by 11:59PM United States East Coast Time on August 15th, 2011 August 25th, 2011. If you're not on United States East Coast Time, you may find the World Clock to be handy. Refer to 'New York' for current United States East Coast Time.

Have fun!

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Comments

entry by tangerine

[(Anonymous)]

STUDENT INCITES PANIC WITH BREADBOX DISPLAY
Staff Reporter

The St. Louis Herald's reporter was the first on the scene after a Washington University student was spotted toting a breadbox around campus. The student was quickly intercepted by St. Louis' SWAT team, whose snipers removed the breadbox from the student's possession through the application of high-velocity projectiles.

Upon hitting the ground, the breadbox opened and was discovered to be filled with paper. The student's friends and family claim that the contents were simply the student's biology textbook, a claim that has not yet been verified. In the interest of public safety, the FBI is currently examining each page for subversive anti-genetic modification sentiments, such as traces of flour from a non-government approved baking facility. Recent raids on student housing have revealed that Washington University students in possession of several ounces of white powder, later proved to be unlicensed flour, and federal prosecutors have stated that these criminals will receive the strongest punishment possible under the law.

While proof of illegal flour has yet to be discovered in this most recent case, this dangerous trend of re-purposing discarded storage and processing devices for baked goods must be put to a stop. The emergence of 'toaster and breadbox chic' is at best a symptom of backwards-thinking nostalgia for days before Monsanto brought about a new era of food design, and at worst the dangerous incitement of public disorder.

The student is currently in the St. Louis' General Hospital's trauma ward undergoing surgery for high-velocity projectile extraction, but is expected to make a full recovery. If found innocent of possession of unlicensed flour, he will be asked to perform community service for creating a public panic by appearing to run an illegal bread-transportation operation.

The St. Louis Herald is grateful for the continued patronage of its sponsor, Monsanto-Hostess-ConAgra Foods Inc., without whom it would be unable to continue working for the public good.