boundbooks: Zhang Ziyi (government controlled cats: farce the fu)
[personal profile] boundbooks posting in [community profile] governmentcontrolledcats
Voting's open for Round 4: Night of the Lawn Chairs. Anyone can vote! Voting is not restricted to community members or entry writers.

The Voting Procedure: Since there are only three entries, voting will be done by selecting your most favorite and least favorite. Most favorite gets +1, least favorite gets -1 to their cumulative score, with the cumulative score determining ranking.

The Voting Period: August 26th - August 30th. Voting closes on 11:59PM United States East Coast Time on Tuesday, August 30th. If you're not on United States East Coast Time, you may find the World Clock to be handy. Refer to 'New York' for current United States East Coast Time.

Note: I would have liked to make the poll open to anonymous voting, but DW apparently does not allow that option. In order to vote, one has to be logged into DW via their journal or openID.

Number: 1
Prompt: Undulate: Freckles have been banned and the government controls non-compostable dinnerware.
Author: [personal profile] bliumchik


The Administration has today confirmed that their maximum security dinnerware vault has indeed been compromised by the criminal known as 'PLATESY', who first claimed to have access to the secure facility last week in a statement released on Youtube. The video consisted largely of what appeared to be non-compostable plates being used as frisbees by PLATESY and his or her two masked companions. Police Commissioner Jordan told the press, "Police are fully cooperating with Federal agents to keep the peace and bring this freckled miscreant to justice. Any citizen with information as to the whereabouts of PLATESY or his partners in crime is encouraged to come forward. However we DO NOT reccommend approaching these criminals - they are armed with unlicensed crockery and may be highly dangerous."

CUPCO, the corporation which outbid all its' competitors for the Vault's security contract, did not reply to our requests for comment.

Number: 2
Prompt: Sneak: Bookbinding has been banned and the government controls baked goods.
Author: tangerine

Staff Reporter

The St. Louis Herald's reporter was the first on the scene after a Washington University student was spotted toting a breadbox around campus. The student was quickly intercepted by St. Louis' SWAT team, whose snipers removed the breadbox from the student's possession through the application of high-velocity projectiles.

Upon hitting the ground, the breadbox opened and was discovered to be filled with paper. The student's friends and family claim that the contents were simply the student's biology textbook, a claim that has not yet been verified. In the interest of public safety, the FBI is currently examining each page for subversive anti-genetic modification sentiments, such as traces of flour from a non-government approved baking facility. Recent raids on student housing have revealed that Washington University students in possession of several ounces of white powder, later proved to be unlicensed flour, and federal prosecutors have stated that these criminals will receive the strongest punishment possible under the law.

While proof of illegal flour has yet to be discovered in this most recent case, this dangerous trend of re-purposing discarded storage and processing devices for baked goods must be put to a stop. The emergence of 'toaster and breadbox chic' is at best a symptom of backwards-thinking nostalgia for days before Monsanto brought about a new era of food design, and at worst the dangerous incitement of public disorder.

The student is currently in the St. Louis' General Hospital's trauma ward undergoing surgery for high-velocity projectile extraction, but is expected to make a full recovery. If found innocent of possession of unlicensed flour, he will be asked to perform community service for creating a public panic by appearing to run an illegal bread-transportation operation.

The St. Louis Herald is grateful for the continued patronage of its sponsor, Monsanto-Hostess-ConAgra Foods Inc., without whom it would be unable to continue working for the public good.

Number: 3
Prompt: Tweak: Oranges have been banned and the government controls lawn chairs.
Author: [personal profile] estirose

Massive Orange Crop Seized by OEA

The Orange Enforcement Administration has uncovered a crop of orange trees in the city of Redsands, CA, the biggest bust in five years, according to spokesperson Kari Grant.

"We're proud to announce that in the ongoing war against orange planters from Mexico, we've uncovered a crop that was planted among other trees in the area."

Spokesperson Grant noted that the city has long been a notorious haven for such activity, going back at least a century. "The climate is ideal for both lounging and growing oranges," she stated, "Which is why, of course, we keep a close eye on the sale of lounge chairs, in hopes of deterring such activity."

Anybody spotting a grove of orange trees is encouraged to contact the OEA or your local law enforcement agency.

The Voting Poll

Poll #7924 Government Controlled Cats: Round Four
This poll is closed.
This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 8

Which entry was your favorite? (Enter a number. For example '5')

Which entry was your least favorite? (Enter a number. For exampe '7')

Government Controlled Cats: Round 4 Voting
Click the Invite to Read & Vote!
Voting ends 11:59PM EST on Tuesday, August 30th

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Government Controlled Cats

April 2013


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